Heathrow Airport Disaster

So Margate FC pitched up at NotquitesoShortLane this afternoon, hoping to pick up 3 valuable away points against a team called Ashford Town(Middx.) - who actually play in Stanwell not far from that dirty "Ali G" hole - Staines.

Ashford Town (who play in bizarre tangerine & white stripes) have a ground that is situated about 900 yards south of the main runway at Heathrow Airport. Immediately behind one of the goals is a fuel depot(see above pic) and fans can enjoy the whiff of those lovely aircraft exhaust fumes on most match days.
In fact, Ashford's miniscule home fanbase were heard chanting today "we are, we are, we are the negative carbon boys, and if you are a Margate fan can you give us a lift, we need some fresh air, fresh air" or some such bollocks like that.

After a frustrating first half an hour, normal service "resumed" when Danny Hockton smashed home a penalty. Moments earlier he had, himself, been brought down by the Ashford goalie, a slimey individual by the name of Burgess Hill. The bloody ref didn't even book him. Silly sod.

The huge Margate away support, who included Tony T. (See this) , were hoping to enjoy a cup of English Kerosene cancer inducing tea at half-time when the diminutive Ashford winger Scott "Tiny" Nohope somehow meandered between the legs of Justin Skinner then beat a worm before crossing delightfully for one of his colleagues to head home from 2 yards out. Little Scott was on cloud nine as was Burgess Hill, who then insulted a Margate fan by calling him something rather rude. A moment or two later the half-time whistle blew and the side who were sublime against Horsham and Hendon seemed to be out of sorts as they strode back to the dressing noroom.

The second half was more pulsating, as a result, the planes seemed to divert their path a touch so a clearer view of the game could be had - one of benefits of flying Al-Jazeera Airways from London Heathrow. Despite going close on a couple of occasions, kicking towards the "M25 end" in the second-half, Margate had to settle for a 1-1 draw. Not the best preparation before the Boxing Day clash-of-heads at Ramschavgate.

Luckily, there were no serious injuries to any of the Margate team despite playing against the aggressive Ashford Town side, who clearly get their inspiration from their Internet site's Webmaster, Mr Len Wellard!

So it's to be Ramsgate on Boxing Day. The two sides have not meet in a league encounter since the 1972/3 season. ( more on this here)


FINAL SCORE TODAY

Air Pollution (Middx.) 1 Margate FC 1

A Top Tip for getting along with the opposite sex.

1. Encourage them to Blog more.................

..............and that's exactly what I'll be doing with a certain young lady from Planet Thanet. The very charming Frances Oapen (above) has reconsidered her decision not to abandon her many friends in the Blogosphere.

I'm hoping for a face to face meeting with her at a certain football match on Boxing Day. You see ladies and gentlemen, Ramsgate FC, having clawed their way out of football's sewers have reached a level where they can now play, at their quaint(NOT) home ground of Southwood, their most famous neighbours, Margate FC.

(For my Maasai Mara Trek, I hope to be taking several football shirts. These will be handed out to local children, along with some other items. If I'm lucky, on Boxing Day, I'll pick up a Ramsgate FC shirt. I'm already on a promise to receive a couple from Arsenal, Man Yoo, and wait for it, one from Tonbridge Angels).

For the first time in 34 years the two clubs go head-to-head in a league encounter. In football season 1972/3, Ted "the traitor" Heath was PM, Iain Dale was still at school and Eastcliffe Richard was trying to make it in Hollywood ( or was it Cricklewood).