Monday, July 30, 2007

One for the Readers Digest?

I tend to read Dr Simon Moore's "Thanet Life" blog most days.

He posted this earlier...............

"Meanwhile, in Broadstairs, 43-year-old man has been cautioned following his arrest on suspicion of indecent exposure in Dumpton Park Drive, last Friday night.

During his interview, the Broadstairs man denied indecent exposure, but admitted outraging public decency, stating he had been drinking and that he was intending to defecate in the street".

Dumpton, defecate?

Mike Reid - Comic Genius

We've just lost Bernard Manning and now Mike Reid at only 67 years of age. This joke was reputed to be one of his....................

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

10 ways to get your website noticed - by Graham Jones

Another excellent post by Graham. If you are a sole trader or small to medium-sized business, you really ought to read Graham's article.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Facebook Groups

I've decided to leave several of those groups on Facebook. I really don't see the point of continuing with groups which are short-lived projects, silly, absurd and bizarre like the "Cats that look like Hitler Appreciation Society".

Graham Jones has a bit to say about social networks, like Facebook, here

Friday, July 27, 2007

The Premiership

It'll be interesting to see what happens to Sam Sodje's Reading FC this season. Will they surprise everybody again or was their first year in the top-flight just a "flash in the pan"?

They will be up against it when the season commences. They are away at Manchester United on August 12th, then face Chelsea at the Madejski the following Wednesday evening.

I'm hoping that Sam can really make an impact this season.

Sex - let's stamp out VD

A little melodramatic but educational!

It's a hard problem at 18

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Birthday body facts

Many of you liked this post a short while ago. Now there's more. This time from Unravelling the Spiritual Mystique

  • Thinking about your muscles can make you stronger.
  • Women blink twice as many times as men do.
  • Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
  • We are about 1 cm taller in the morning than in the evening. Layers of cartilage in the joints gets compressed during the day.
  • There are approx. 550 hairs in the eyebrow.
  • The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue.
  • The hardest bone in the human body is the jawbone.
  • The life span of a taste bud is 10 days.
  • The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
  • Babies are born without kneecaps. They appear when the child is 2-6 years of age.
  • Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second.
  • Humans were first infected with the HIV virus in the 1930s.
  • The force of 1 billion people jumping at the same time is equal to 500 tons of TNT.
  • A baby is born every seven seconds.
  • You breathe about 10 million times a year.
  • The colder the room you sleep in, the better the chances are that you'll have a bad dream.
  • The fastest growing nail is on the middle finger.
  • The human body weighs 40 times more than the brain.
  • After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp.
  • There are more people alive today than have ever died.
  • The human body is better suited to two four-hour sleep cycles than one eight-hour one.
  • A man's beard contains between 7000 and 15,000 hairs.
  • A beard grows an average of 140mm a year
  • During an average lifetime, a man will spend 3,350 hours removing 8.4 meters of stubble
Thanks also to Crushed for the link

A touch of Birthday humour

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Floods and Gloucester City AFC

Shocking news from the West Country as the floods continue to wreak havoc.

One of the casualties is Gloucester City AFC. The town's football club may face financial ruin. As if things weren't bad enough for most non-league sides. (Following Margate FC is a challenge!). I wonder if the FA, Premiership or other institutions at the "top" of our national game could lend a hand?

Here's the latest news from their unofficial site

23 July 2007
Meadow Park Swamped as Floods Engulf Gloucester

Gloucester City’s Meadow Park stadium was underwater this morning as the catastrophic impact of the flooding from the River Severn continued to devastate the West and the Midlands.

The Severn burst it’s banks after Friday’s downpour and the water level has steadily continued to rise with the river bloating with water running off the hills further upstream. The high tide levels have now passed far beyond the Severn’s usual floodplain and threaten to engulf the whole northern and western sections of Gloucester, passing beyond the previous known record high water mark of the 1947 floods.

Quick thinking volunteers had been to the Meadow Park ground on Sunday afternoon and tried to salvage what could be moved, with some equipment moved upstairs to the bar area. However the floodwater is far beyond being stopped by a few sandbags and with residents being evacuated from the Hempsted area of the city the water is now lapping at the crossbars. The Meadow Park cowshed and T-End terrace all now lie beneath the muddy brown murk.

The Friday downpour had already led to the cancellation of Saturday's planned pre-season visit of AFC Telford for a summer friendly game. That decision was based on the travel problems between Gloucester and the Midlands as much as the waterlogging effecting the Meadow Park pitch. However since then the floodwater has steadily risen across much of Worcestershire and north Gloucestershire, with the water levels not expected to peak until tomorrow and still further heavy rain forecast on Wednesday.

The ground has been seriously flooded twice before, in December 2000 and also in January 1990. Those previous dunkings have led to the club having problems obtaining flood insurance and this latest set-back is sure to cost the club heavily. As well as the all too obvious mopping up and massive cleaning operation ahead there will be pitch renovation, and extensive electrical work required to the floodlights and catering facilities. The damage placed the remaining home pre-season fixtures against Bath City and Forest Green Rovers in serious jeopardy, and also place the opening Southern League fixture at home to Cheshunt on 18 August in doubt. At present the flooding has made Meadow Park all but inaccessible and the full extent of the damage can only be imagined.

City fans had some welcome news with an agreement from Bath City that the scheduled Friday night pre-season friendly will go ahead with the venue switched to Twerton Park in Bath. The newly promoted Southern League champions have generously offered that City can still keep the profits generated through the turnstiles, money sure to be desperately needed to restore Meadow Park once the flood water retreats. As a result the club is encouraging those fans who can travel to make the trip to Bath and get behind the team, financially and vocally.

With so many Gloucester residents and businesses suffering the awful after effects of the worst devastating floods in living memory the damage to the football club cannot be the most significant problem facing the local community. It is however still a real kick in the teeth at a time when the club seemed to be recovering it’s financial position after years struggling with serious debts, whilst on the pitch manager Tim Harris has assembled a squad that now looks capable of competing at the right end of the SLP. The flooding may set the club back just when things were looking more hopeful. Those you feel for most are the fans who have not only funded a summer of close season ground and pitch improvements through Supporters Trust donations, but in many cases have also contributed hours of labour to get Meadow Park to the best condition it had been in for nearly a decade. Once the waters recede all of that work must now start again.

Fans have been discussing the floods on the City Open Forum, where details of the clean-up squads will also be finalised.

Links: 2007 Pre-Season Summer Fixtures, BBC Online Flood Pictures, Gloucester Citizen.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Floods, Gordon Brown and God

Topical joke from my friend David.

Noah's Ark

In the spring of the year 2007 , the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans. You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights. '

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but no Ark. 'Noah!' He roared, 'I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?'

'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things have changed. I needed Building Regulations Approval because the Ark was over 30m2. I've been arguing with the Fire Brigade about the need for a sprinkler system. 'We had to go to appeal to the Secretary of State for a decision. The Local Area Access Group complained that my ramp was going to be too steep, and the inside of the Ark wasn't fully accessible, then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

'Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific Interest set up in order to protect the pygmy owl. 'When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

'I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many BMEs I'm supposed to hire for my building team. They insist I have to hire only CSCS accredited workers with Ark-building experience and to make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. '

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?' 'No,' said the Lord. 'The Labour government beat me to it.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Birthday in three days time - July 25th

29 again!

For those of you who are not on Facebook

1. Why aren't you?

2. Drop by the Bull & Bush ( yes that one ), Tuesday, 8pm July 24th

Who's the most nauseating UK Blogger?

and who would you nominate?

This stupid country (5)

Can you believe this? Theo has this story in his weekly round-up of news. He's described Mr McInery as ***t of the week. Do you agree?

From the Daily Telegraph

Binman's St George bandana 'is racist'

By Nigel Bunyan
Last Updated: 12:41am BST 21/07/2007

A black dustman has been banned from wearing a St George's Cross bandana because council officials say it could be regarded as racist.

Matthew Carter, 35, who was born in Barbados, used the headgear to keep his dreadlocks out of the way while he was on his rounds in Burnley, Lancs. He had done so for seven months before his photograph appeared in a local newspaper. A number of local people complained, and his superiors called him.

"I received a verbal warning," Mr Carter said yesterday. "They told me the St George's Cross was not allowed to be seen on any clothing we wear because it could be considered offensive and racist."

Ian McInery, the operational services manager for Pendle council, defended the decision to discipline Mr Carter. He said: "We have made it clear to staff that they are not allowed to put stickers or flags on bin wagons or wear clothing which shows support for a particular team, group or country.

"We can't make one rule for one person and one for another. It's just a common-sense approach that we are sticking to."Mr Carter still wears a bandana but one that bears the image of a skull and crossbones.

Friday, July 20, 2007

How to ruin a family photo

Another beauty (so to speak) from Cousin Michael in France

Golf Quiz

Can you match my 10 out of 10?

Try it here

One for the lovely Patricia Hannigan.

"It's raining, it's pouring"

and if you live in the N2 or N3 postal areas of London you're likely to be swept away by a torrent of water.

Wrath of the Gods? Global Warming? warning to David Cameron? Whatever it is it ain't cricket. (I believe they've taken an early lunch at Lords*)

* try explaining that to an American

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Think Smart, Sell More

Earlier this month, I chaired a meeting where Geoff Burch (on the right) and Jonathan J. Gabay spoke on the subject "Think Smart, Sell More". Details of the event are here.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Ice hockey in Israel

Great story from JTA

Jews on ice

The first World Jewish Ice Hockey Tournament is being held in Metulla, Israel.

With outside temperatures reaching 90 degrees in Israel’s northernmost city, teams from the United States, France, Israel and Canada are competing on the ice at Metulla’s Canada Center, located just over the border from Lebanon.

In the first game the Americans trounced the French, 9-4. Games will continue all week, with the championship game on Friday.

Sex and Relationships

I have to thank Jennifer Jones for pointing me in the direction of this common sense article at Naked Soul

Nothing new and nothing that many of us don't know already.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

20 things you didn't know about body

The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why in the heck we were designed the way we were.

Scientists say the higher your I.Q. the more you dream.

-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the
male sperm.

-You use 200 muscles to take one step.

-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

-A pair of human feet contain 250,000 sweat glands.

-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.

-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia

-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver
than men with hair.

-At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.

-There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water
to a boil.

-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.

-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, they do the same
when you are looking at someone you hate.

-Blondes have more hair than dark-haired people.

-Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

Now I KNOW you are placing your thumb on your NOSE, aren't you?

Kindly e-mailed by Cousin Michael in France

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Iain Dale's Birthday, July 15th

Many happy returns Iain.

And tomorrow is Monday when 18DoughtyStreet will be showing the so-called Palestinian Ambassador (sorry but I thought only countries had ambassadors) who is going to promote the continued shelling of Israeli towns and cities.

I wonder if 18Doughty Street will have the good grace to interview someone about the truth behind the "Palestinian" problem.


Found at Blog Blond

BTW, are you on Skype? If you are, call me, or Skype me. My Skype address is located here

Glory, glory Leeds United

James Hamilton has some great video on those Don Revie years. As a youngster, I was firmly in the "I hate Leeds United camp". Illogical of course looking back on it.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Girl with a One Track Mind

Girl with a One Track Mind, or as I call her, One Track Dirt Track was kicked into touch by yours truly, she's now appearing on My BlogLog.

Why the fixation Abby?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

3 ways to ruin your chances at Business Networking

Earlier today, I attended a networking meeting in Central London, run by a well known organisation. There were around 100 or so people there from a variety of businesses. Many were interesting and good listeners, some less so but there were three individuals who really ought to learn the fundamentals of *networking. Here's those 3 "no noes" for starters:

TIP 1. Do not barge in on a "closed two".

Scene: I was in conversation with an executive of a well known company. All of a sudden from my left and overweight gentleman with an absurd tie said "hello" and started to ask a question of the executive. No rapport building or politeness. He even had the temerity to ask me to hold his glass of red wine. I put it on the nearest table, made an excuse and left the poor executive to handle "Mr Buffoon".

TIP 2. Never peer at name badges.

Scene: Two women and I were discussing business opportunities when we were approached by "Mr Nerd". He leant towards us three, peered at our name badges, then scuttled away after rambling on for a minute or so about the services he offered. Needless to say, my two new friends and I were most unimpressed. The title on his business card said "Head of Sales".

TIP 3. Remain sober and listen.

Scene: The three of us were joined by a fourth and things were going along really well until "Mr Large" turned up. Perhaps I should call him Mr Me, because that's all he was interested in - himself. Also, he was clearly drunk, rude and bellicose.

All three of these people, in my opinion, behaved in a socially inadequate manner. The Golden Rule of networking is to exhibit unconditional giving.

* I'd like to recommend you attend a Will Kintish talk, and/or get a copy of And Death Came Third by Andy Lopata and Peter Roper

Monday, July 09, 2007

Blog Changes

Re-arranged a few items on the left-hand side. A new widget "Save the Bears" has recently been added and quite a few blog links have been removed with some new friends added. In my view, if you can't be bothered top link to me, then why on Earth should I link to you? God, I can be a savage bastard sometimes! I mean, what's the point of linking to certain blogs just because they are popular? So it's goodbye and good riddance to Rachel North and Girl with a One Track Mind ( One Track Dirt Track if you ask me) and hello to Adloyada and Beaman's World.

Another great blog I admire is Jennifer Jones's "Goodness Graciousness" and her dating blog "How to tell if your Guy is a Jerk". This loosely translated to English means don't go out with a schmuck (as we say in certain parts of Norf London).

As you were.

Carry on.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Le Tour de France - Stage One in Kent

Just arrived back from the "Garden of England", where I and around 1 million others between London and Canterbury saw the First Stage of the Tour De France.

My friends and I managed to fine a piece of grass by the roadside (at Hadlow, adjacent to Tonbridge on the A26) at around 11.15am. Within minutes the entourage
started to speed through. There were various French registered vehicles full of pretty girls lobbing pens, sweets and other items to the roadside spectators. Numerous members of the French "gendarmerie" and Kent Constabulary then sped past on their motorbikes causing anxiety amongst the local mothers whose recalcigent offspring were darting into the road then back again onto the grass verges. I think the lack of crowd control would have sent those who work in "Health and Safety" into apoplexy.

Every now and again one would hear "Hallo" and "Ca va" coming from a loudhailer perched on one of the cars. This seemed to confuse the hell out of the locals. I overheard one saying "can't they speak in English?". I didn't have the heart to explain to the elderly lady that the French never speak in English unless they want to sell you something. (or insult you)

Towards 1.00pm, a shout went up. "Look Dad there's a helicopter". Indeed there was. In fact three roared into view and then very shortly the leading pack of riders, numbering 5 or 6 came past in a flash - followed by the "peloton". Enormous cheers went up from the crowd. Union flags were waved and everyone seemed to love those fit young men bedecked in pink, pale and royal blue, red, green and yellow. I half expected a float from Margate carnival to appear it was so colourful. An eerie silence then ensued as the last of the riders went past followed by support vehicles and at the very back was a solitary ambulance crawling along.

Within minutes the crowds had dispersed and we walked back our car wondering when Kent would see such a spectacle again. A little later, the Australian Robbie McEwen( see photo) produced a stunning piece of riding to claim victory at the Stage One finish in Canterbury.

Stage Two will be from Dunkirk to Ghent.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Le Tour de France - Stage One

Tomorrow morning, I'll be popping down to Kent (well the bit near Dartford actually) to be one of the throngs of people who'll be watching the worlds single biggest sporting event, I mean the Tour de France and it's first stage which takes place here, in England!

This amazing annual event first came to my attention, as a child, when the great Tommy Simpson collapsed and died on Mt. Ventoux in 1967. Every July, for the next several years, I would look out for the results each day in the newspaper, normally the Daily Telegraph, to see how British riders were getting on.

In 1979, I finally managed to get a glimpse of the race in the flesh. It was the last day of the race and I and some friends were in Paris to see the 100 or so riders zoom past. Thrilling stuff.

Once again, I'm looking forward to terms like peloton, yellow jersey and King of the Mountains splashed across the TV screen.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Light Blogging this week

A little busy in the Midlands

The future of the Internet

May become dominated by those who can afford to invest in more sophisticated content, as Graham Jones points out in his latest article.

Who knows what the future of the Internet will be. I suspect major brands and organizations will be dominate.

Our Emergency Services........

...............have done brilliantly over the past few days. No doubt the terrorist threat will be on delegates minds at a conference I'll be chairing tomorrow in the West Midlands

Paddy Ashdown on the BBC this morning, pointed out the failure of politicians and others in failing to understand the grievances of many disaffected young Muslims. He said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "as much effort should be put into engaging with Muslim youth as we are in trying to capture those responsible for the incidents in London and Glasgow".

Many would agree but as many would think this softer approach just encourages lawlessness.

What do you think?